“I feel like such a failure”. I’m sitting opposite my friend. We are having coffee. She wanted to see me before I go away. I haven’t told a lot of people about me going away, even though it is here on my blog. Telling the wider world doesn’t feel as personal somehow, though a few…
Author: Sarah
The family gathering
I pick up the phone and make the call. “Hey Pumpkin, it’s mom. Dad and I have something we would like to tell you. Can you come over at 8:30, just on your own.” Miss J and R have a friend over to stay but this isn’t something I want to tell them. For now,…
The phone call that starts a journey to recovery
I look at the phone. I pick it up. I put it down. I pace. I pick it up again. “Sarah, you need to make the call.” Mr C had said. Tears trickled down my cheeks. “I’m not that bad,” I plead, “I don’t need this. I can manage, I am FINE!” When I grew…
Letting go, breathing deep
I wake up feeling groggy. Mr C’s alarm goes off. A new day, a new year, and work begins again. I have not slept well. I have not been sleeping well for the longest time. Late to sleep, early to rise. Not enough sleep. By a long margin. I am fatigued, groggy, unproductive. I grab…
Don’t put baby in a single box!
At the party on New Year’s Eve, I got chatting to a woman who I had met a few times before but whom I didn’t know all that well. After chatting for a while, she said to me, “You’re such a homemaker! I can tell it comes naturally to you.” The comment took me a…
Writing every day for mental wellness
Today is the start of a brand new year. I’ve woken up feeling exceedingly uncomfortable, but in a (sort of) good way. Last night we went to Clover Cottage with some friends for New Years’ Eve. Clover Cottage is a restaurant in Berwick. Or rather they were a restaurant. Apparently, they have been there for forty…
Do not read this if you want a post about sweetness and light
TRIGGER WARNING: POST MENTIONS SUICIDAL IDEATION. I have a mental illness. I live with mental illness. We aren’t supposed to talk about it I know. Just recently, I was told that I tend to exaggerate my fears and make things out to be much worse than they really are. Yes, yes I do. This is…
My name is Sarah and I am a recovering alcoholic who is codependent
As a writer, I have never really been one for fiction, though I dabble here and there. No, instead, I am far more drawn to the genre of memoir. Memoir gives us a rare, brave insight into the human condition and how a person deals with the hand that life gave them. Good memoirists are…
Change is on the horizon
It’s been a while since my last post. The person about whom I wrote in that last post, read it and took to my personal FB page to tell me what a bully and an awful person I was in glorious detail. I thought by omitting her name, or indeed any personal detail about her,…
You are perfect as you are – please be kind to yourself
To many people, I am a conundrum. To those that don’t know me that well I appear strong, forthright and confident on the one hand, full of opinion and gusto especially when I am passionate about something. And then there are times when I can appear as a child – tearful, fearful, anxious about the…