I wake up feeling groggy. Mr C’s alarm goes off. A new day, a new year, and work begins again. I have not slept well. I have not been sleeping well for the longest time. Late to sleep, early to rise. Not enough sleep. By a long margin. I am fatigued, groggy, unproductive. I grab…
Category: MENTAL ILLNESS
Don’t put baby in a single box!
At the party on New Year’s Eve, I got chatting to a woman who I had met a few times before but whom I didn’t know all that well. After chatting for a while, she said to me, “You’re such a homemaker! I can tell it comes naturally to you.” The comment took me a…
Writing every day for mental wellness
Today is the start of a brand new year. I’ve woken up feeling exceedingly uncomfortable, but in a (sort of) good way. Last night we went to Clover Cottage with some friends for New Years’ Eve. Clover Cottage is a restaurant in Berwick. Or rather they were a restaurant. Apparently, they have been there for forty…
Do not read this if you want a post about sweetness and light
TRIGGER WARNING: POST MENTIONS SUICIDAL IDEATION. I have a mental illness. I live with mental illness. We aren’t supposed to talk about it I know. Just recently, I was told that I tend to exaggerate my fears and make things out to be much worse than they really are. Yes, yes I do. This is…
You are perfect as you are – please be kind to yourself
To many people, I am a conundrum. To those that don’t know me that well I appear strong, forthright and confident on the one hand, full of opinion and gusto especially when I am passionate about something. And then there are times when I can appear as a child – tearful, fearful, anxious about the…
Horace and the train trip to death
I’m on the 2:30 train to Cranbourne. I’ve just met a new friend, Jane, in Melbourne where we spent three lovely hours wandering around the Art of Banksy exhibition followed by a wonderful lunch at Dymocks bookshop. I had vegan shepherds pie accompanied by ginger & lemon tea. I’m feeling tired but also a little…
A journey of healing
I wake up to the burning sensation in my stomach. I clutch it, curling into a ball. 2am. I close my eyes, willing myself to breathe in, breathe out. Please, brain, don’t go into overdrive tonight. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. I feel the rise and fall of my burning abdomen. What…
The rambling recesses of my mind
I’ve been going through a thing. And it has been so hard to talk about, to compartmentalise, to rationalise, indeed to live. The thing itself has been harrowing enough, but it is the soul reaching thoughts and feelings that have left me reeling. Mr C and I were watching TV the other night; sometimes I…
Thoughtfulness Cards – acknowledging depression and suicide
I’m depressed. There’s no coating it, there’s no glossing over it, and there is absolutely no point in pretending that I’m not having an episode of deep depression. There is an argument floating around that writing about dark stuff on a personal level reduces readers, that people don’t want to read about the horrors of…
Because that is business
A cloud, a dark cloud, has settled over our house. It isn’t visible, and if you come to visit you will never suspect that it is there, obstructing our view, preventing us from seeing the future, a bright future, a future that fills us with hope. Oh, of course, we have to remain hopeful, for…