I’m documenting my journey. 2020 is honestly proving to be a rather challenging year and I need to make sense of it in my head. I’m lying in bed as I write this. Nearly 11am, still in my pjs with the electric blanket on. I feel the cold so much. I have so many days…
Tag: dying
Bearing witness to death is bearing witness to life
The last two weeks have passed in a blur; acceptance into university, preparations for Master J as he enters his last ever year of high school and assisting my mother and father-in-law as they prepare for the end of her life. She isn’t dead. And it is likely that she will live a number of…
The ticking time bomb of death
“I have Barrett’s Oesophagus” I look up at Mr C. He has just walked in from being at the gastroenterologist. I am in the kitchen, preparing food. He sits down on the bar stool. “I have Barrett’s Oesophagus,” he repeats. I don’t know what that means. I look quizzically at him. “It’s where the lining…
THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT ON GRIEF
Where do I begin? How do I talk about how I am feeling, without appearing like I am going over old ground, wallowing. Who am I kidding. It’s grief. There is no time limit on grief. I normally lock my grief away. I have locked it deep into my heart in a locked cage in…
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT DEATH AND DYING
Death. h? It is inevitable. It comes to us all. But we don’t like to think about that. Why? Are we afraid? Afraid to tempt fate, to court the grim ripper for fear he may choose to come too early. Before we have had chance to live the life we want, the life we struggle…
The sound of a voice
When my mom was dying with lung cancer, my sister and I travelled up to Birmingham in the UK, where my mother had grown up. Without consciously realising it, we found ourselves outside my grandmother’s old house, my mother’s childhood home. I did not know my grandmother that well but my mom would regale stories…
How death defined me
To those of you who subscribe by email, apologies. You are getting two emails today. It’s a necessity. I just can’t keep this inside. I am not a serial follower of blogs. Blogs are, for me, a source of information. That thousands, nay millions, of people blog is fortuitous for an insatiably curious mind like…
A lost friend and a spirit of light
At what point does a person you know become your friend? A friend of mine died yesterday. It has filled me with enormous sadness. But I don’t know if I can really call her my friend, not least because I wasn’t really a friend to her. I met Adani at a Goddess Gathering that I…
Dear Child {Some things you should know about grief}
Dear Child, First of all, it is important to know that grief is a part of our every day existence. We grieve, no matter how momentarily, when we miss the train, or when we spill something on that freshly washed shirt, or when the driver in front of us is going so slowly you feel…