I’ve been away. Two and a bit weeks ago Mr C decided I needed a break. He had snagged himself a job (oh the relief!), and we had a little of the redundancy money left, so he decided to send me back to the UK to where my dad lives. Just between you and me,…
Tag: grief
The yin and yang of the week that was
So this is how my week has been: We withdrew Master J from school. Only a term before the end of VCE, only a term before the end of his entire 13 year career. We withdrew him because he could take it no longer. He could no longer endure the place that promised us that they…
Bearing witness to death is bearing witness to life
The last two weeks have passed in a blur; acceptance into university, preparations for Master J as he enters his last ever year of high school and assisting my mother and father-in-law as they prepare for the end of her life. She isn’t dead. And it is likely that she will live a number of…
The ticking time bomb of death
“I have Barrett’s Oesophagus” I look up at Mr C. He has just walked in from being at the gastroenterologist. I am in the kitchen, preparing food. He sits down on the bar stool. “I have Barrett’s Oesophagus,” he repeats. I don’t know what that means. I look quizzically at him. “It’s where the lining…
THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT ON GRIEF
Where do I begin? How do I talk about how I am feeling, without appearing like I am going over old ground, wallowing. Who am I kidding. It’s grief. There is no time limit on grief. I normally lock my grief away. I have locked it deep into my heart in a locked cage in…
HOW ART CAN HEAL THE SOUL
When I was 13 years old, living in South Africa, I had to do an art exam. The theme was to create a poster for a veld (pronounced “felt”) fire, commonly known in Australia as a bush fire. I sat at my easel frozen. My classmates stood around me, furiously slopping paint onto the page,…
HOW TO HELP THE DEPRESSED PERSON
I had a mental breakdown last week. It’s been a long time coming. For too long, I have been ignoring the fact that I just wasn’t dealing with the grief surrounding the death of my mom five years ago. Five months before her death I had become sober. I forced myself to pretend I was…
A LOVE STORY
Good morning my friend, How are you today? How was your weekend? Did you celebrate valentines day? Mr C and I don’t really celebrate valentines day per se. Largely because our anniversary is 2 days later. Today in fact. 19 years today. It seems like such a life time of memories to celebrate. We are…
DEPRESSION AND HOPE (or rather the lack of it)
It is with some trepidation that I write about my long term relationship with depression. Recently, I have been drawn to people who talk of happiness as a matter of attitude. People who have had their fair share of struggle, but have looked that struggle square in the face and said “Fuck you!” Their souls,…
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT DEATH AND DYING
Death. h? It is inevitable. It comes to us all. But we don’t like to think about that. Why? Are we afraid? Afraid to tempt fate, to court the grim ripper for fear he may choose to come too early. Before we have had chance to live the life we want, the life we struggle…