Hello little Worm. It’s been a while. I see you burying deep in the synapses of my brain. Thoughts on a loop. I can feel the darkness setting in. The pain, the hopelessness, the fear. Mostly the fear. I wonder how it would be if we had felt loved. Some shred of warmth. Would you…
Tag: suicide
Do not read this if you want a post about sweetness and light
TRIGGER WARNING: POST MENTIONS SUICIDAL IDEATION. I have a mental illness. I live with mental illness. We aren’t supposed to talk about it I know. Just recently, I was told that I tend to exaggerate my fears and make things out to be much worse than they really are. Yes, yes I do. This is…
Thoughtfulness Cards – acknowledging depression and suicide
I’m depressed. There’s no coating it, there’s no glossing over it, and there is absolutely no point in pretending that I’m not having an episode of deep depression. There is an argument floating around that writing about dark stuff on a personal level reduces readers, that people don’t want to read about the horrors of…
From the Winter of Discontent to the Spring of Living
I sat there staring at the screen. A curious little creature stared back at me. Hands clasped together, in the shape of a gun, pointing at me. Pew! Pew! Pew! Die Bitch! The words stung me, as if I was staring down the actual barrel of a gun. This was my website four weeks ago. I…
THIS IS WHAT IS AT THE HEART OF DEPRESSION
I climbed into bed. I knew they were coming. I could feel it long before they actually fell. I rolled over, placed my head on Mr C’s chest and let them fall. “Are you okay?” he asked. I didn’t answer. He knew. “Oh Sarah, my love.” His soft voice only served to act like…
HOW TO HELP THE DEPRESSED PERSON
I had a mental breakdown last week. It’s been a long time coming. For too long, I have been ignoring the fact that I just wasn’t dealing with the grief surrounding the death of my mom five years ago. Five months before her death I had become sober. I forced myself to pretend I was…
THE INSANITY OF SUICIDE
WARNING: THIS POST TALKS ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE WITH SUICIDE. IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL IN ANY WAY, PLEASE PLEASE DIAL LIFELINE ON 13 11 14 (AUSTRALIA), OR THE NUMBER IN YOUR COUNTRY When I was 15, I tried to commit suicide. I can tell you I did not agonise over this decision for days….
We need to talk about mental illness, depression and suicide NOW!
I went to see The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 today. It was awesome. I loved the book and I loved the movie. But throughout the movie I could not help but feel sad. As Philip Seymour Hoffman graced the screen in the effortless way that was his acting style, I couldn’t help but…
The seductress and the middle aged woman who is learning to live
How, when you have depression, do you find the light in the day? I have no idea to that question. I am only me. The glass is half-empty me. The “some days it’s hard to live” me. I find life really really hard. So hard in fact I became a raging alcoholic. Raging might be…
Don’t judge the depressive person – be their seratonin buddy
A friend of mine and I were talking the other day. We were talking about depression. She hates that I can reach such deep lows. She hates that I can even have a dalliance with the idea of suicide. She sees the beauty in me as a person, the value in what I am and…