I wake up at a reasonable time today and am glad that Jay has made it through another night without giving birth. I am tired though. The stress of not knowing if I am going to get a phone call in the night is starting to take its toll.
I am grumpy and I have a headache to match my mood. I decide not to rush out of bed. Dave has told me that JC’s iPod is in his dressing gown pocket. JC has to have a proper shower to get it back. I sigh, I am really struggling with the knowledge of having to fight JC, despite years of experience.
I lean over and grab my phone. I log onto Facebook. 26 weeks and 4 days. Come on Baby C, you can make it to 27 weeks. Within minutes I get a couple of “likes”. The world is watching while we play out our preemie story.
I log onto Words with Friends. Whoever thought up this app is making a mint. I enter a couple of words and think I should get a shower. My body does not agree. I choose to watch a few You Tube videos. I just love technology.
The bedroom door opens. JC pads into the room wearing just his under-jocks. Before he has even reached my bed, I tell him he has to shower. He tries to tell me has had one. We go through this many times, but today I am tired.
“JC, get in that shower now or I swear, you will not get your iPod for the rest of the day.”
I hear him swear under his breath as he storms out of the room. I emerge out of bed and make my way to JC’s bathroom. The shower is running. I open it slightly. There is JC, sitting on the edge of the bath.
“Seriously, JC? You have to get into the shower!” I know that the sensory overload of a shower is too much for him, but the social dictates of not walking through life wreaking of BO is more important to me. “Now, just get in the shower!”
I wait outside to check if he will actually do it. I hear the shower door open and the sound of the water change. Satisfied, I walk back to the bedroom and start my own shower.
I walk into the kitchen to find JC back in his under-jocks. “Did you wash everywhere?”
“Yes!” he snaps.
I do a quick sniff and am satisfied some soap has managed to make its way onto his body. “Your iPod is in Dad’s dressing gown.”
“I would never have looked there!”
I tidy up the kitchen, put a load on and try to make some sense of the study. I have Avon stuff to deliver, but have no idea when I am going to find the time to do it. I know I am going to have to give it up.
My phone buzzes. What time are you coming?
I sigh. I am tired today, and my back is killing me. Soon.
I make JC his breakfast, put some food on the counter for him with strict instructions to eat it and head for my car. I see the post has been delivered. Tee has sent me a card.
“Please do not worry, you will get through this, but know you are not alone, you have me and you are a great grandma that is doing wonderful things for the kids.”
I smile and feel very blessed to know such a lovely person. I thank the universe again for Jay having Tee as a mother-in-law. I make my way to the hospital.
I try to phone Dee, but the blue tooth in my car isn’t working. Try as I might with as many button pushing as I like, it won’t work. Damn!
I get to the hospital to find Tee and Emmie with Em and Jay. I wonder why Jay hurried me up since she is clearly being well entertained. We all say hello, kiss and chat for a while. I sit on the edge of the bed as my back is still aching, but my mood is definitely lifting. Jay is looking well. She is clearly glad to see me.
Eventually everyone leaves and it is just she and I. “How was last night?”
“Okay. Bec came to see me and another doctor too. We agreed I am going to go for a vaginal birth.”
I shudder. I want what is best for the baby, but also for Jay. “Are you okay with that?”
“I am mum. I don’t want a C-section if I don’t have to have one and if it doesn’t hurt the baby.”
“Have you spoken to Em about Tee being at the birth?” This is something that has come up a couple of times. Jay did not know if she wanted Tee at the birth as she is so private and felt it was really personal. I understood. I would not have wanted my mother-in-law in the room whilst I was giving birth.
“I tried mum, but he wants her there. I have been thinking. She is a nurse and there are going to be so many other people there, I don’t think I will mind.” I sense that the very private Jay is starting to realize that it is okay to let people see our vulnerabilities. I agree that it isn’t the end of the world and I like the idea of sharing the experience with someone who is going through the “same” thing.
We continue to talk about the baby and what will happen when he finally makes his appearance. A few times during the day Jay has some tightenings, some with pain, but nothing really to comment about. It seems Baby C has made it through another day.
I get home around 8pm. I am tired and hungry.
“Hungry?” Dee offers.
I devour the dinner he has made. I wonder what I would ever do without him.
It has been a long day, and I am exhausted. JC wants me to wait up so he can watch yet another Harry Potter movie. Dee needs to get to bed, he has a big day tomorrow. I agree to wait up.
I wonder when Baby C will finally arrive. Despite being so tired, I pray that he lasts at least until 28 weeks.
Eventually I get to bed. It has been an uneventful day, yet I still feel so drained and the real journey hasn’t even begun.