DEAR FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND OF THE DEPRESSED PERSON

Dear family member or friend of the depressed person,

I am writing to you today because I want to thank you, acknowledge you and embrace you.

It is hard to be there for us depressives who constantly see no joy in the world; who do not see the value in ourselves – the value that you can so clearly see.  It is hard to be that constant support, to listen perpetually to how the world is unfair, to make endless cups of tea, to pick up the slack when we are incapable of doing even the simplest tasks, to watch us as we crumble and descend into a pit of despair, knowing there is nothing you can do that will help.  It is hard to find the energy to be the shoulder to cry on all the time.

And so I want to thank you.  Because even if you don’t know it, even if you can’t see it, or feel it, we are so grateful.

We are so thankful that we have you.  Because without you we would not be here today.  Because you, my friend, are our hope.  The light at the end of our very very dark tunnel.  You are the air when our lungs are filled with water and we are sure we are going to drown.  Your presence, even in silence, when you have nothing to give but your time, is all we need.

Know that you are so valued for what you do.  Know that when you sit with us, and don’t judge us, but just BE with us, that gift is more life affirming than you can ever imagine.

Know that if we could, we would take those demonic thoughts out of our heads and cast them into the pit of hell, if for no other reason than to be able to witness the world, in all its wonderment and joy, as you see it; to share it in all its glory with you.  Know that we want nothing more than to be able to laugh with you and dance with you and feel  the light with you.  Please know that we would offer anything for this to happen.

We see – are acutely aware – of the sacrifices you make for us in our darkest hours.  The guilt we feel is enormous, our powerlessness, in that very moment, even greater.  Yet you remain with us, arm around us, protecting us, loving us.  Just loving us.  You are a gift.  An enormous gift.

Even when you know the dreary, Eeyore answer, you still ask us how our day has been and when the predictable answer is spewed forth, you listen, and nod, and commiserate.  So much, you are a gift.

When you are there for us at times when it is so hard to be there for us, when we are so hell bent on seeing the world in darkness, when you can only see its glorious light, when you hang onto us, with us, breathing for us, there are no words for the gratitude we feel.

Yet we don’t tell you.  Not nearly enough.

Because our world is dark and selfish and small.

We can’t think, our brains fogged up and in pain.

And so we forget to let you know that as much as you see the value in us, we see it in you.  Oh my word, we see it so much in you.

So thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

From the bottom of our hearts thank you.

For not giving up on us.  For not walking away.  For listening.  For just being.  With us.  Always.

We love you.

Much love,