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Category: Depression

Stream of consciousness

Posted on June 19, 2016 by Sarah

I wrote a post about gun laws, but I’m not going to post that today.  Another day perhaps, maybe later in the week. The truth is I’m tired. I’m too bogged down with what is going on in my own life, in my immediate vicinity, to make the effort to scream across the water at…

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From the Winter of Discontent to the Spring of Living

Posted on September 26, 2015 by Sarah

I sat there staring at the screen. A curious little creature stared back at me.  Hands clasped together, in the shape of a gun, pointing at me. Pew! Pew! Pew! Die Bitch! The words stung me, as if I was staring down the actual barrel of a gun. This was my website four weeks ago. I…

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THIS IS WHAT IS AT THE HEART OF DEPRESSION

Posted on July 29, 2015 by Sarah

  I climbed into bed.  I knew they were coming.  I could feel it long before they actually fell. I rolled over, placed my head on Mr C’s chest and let them fall. “Are you okay?” he asked. I didn’t answer.  He knew. “Oh Sarah, my love.” His soft voice only served to act like…

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WHAT WOULD BUDDHA DO?

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Sarah

It’s 3:30am. I’ve been awake since 2:30am. It’s pouring with rain outside and it’s freezing. Whenever it rains at night, especially that hard driving miserable rain, I think of the homeless.  I lay in bed, snuggled under my duvet and blanket and I imagine how awful it must be for them trying to stave off…

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HONOURING GRIEF IS THERAPEUTIC + HEALING

Posted on July 12, 2015 by Sarah

A couple of days ago I mourned the passing of my mom. It was the anniversary of her death and each year around this time I feel anguished.  I so desperately wanted this year to be different.  I needed for it to be different.  And it was. The pain was still there, but I did…

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THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT ON GRIEF

Posted on July 8, 2015 by Sarah

Where do I begin? How do I talk about how I am feeling, without appearing like I am going over old ground, wallowing. Who am I kidding. It’s grief. There is no time limit on grief. I normally lock my grief away.  I have locked it deep into my heart in a locked cage in…

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THE INSANITY OF SUICIDE

Posted on March 12, 2015 by Sarah

WARNING:   THIS POST TALKS ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE WITH SUICIDE.  IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL IN ANY WAY, PLEASE PLEASE DIAL LIFELINE ON 13 11 14 (AUSTRALIA), OR THE NUMBER IN YOUR COUNTRY   When I was 15, I tried to commit suicide. I can tell you I did not agonise over this decision for days….

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DEAR FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND OF THE DEPRESSED PERSON

Posted on February 13, 2015 by Sarah

Dear family member or friend of the depressed person, I am writing to you today because I want to thank you, acknowledge you and embrace you. It is hard to be there for us depressives who constantly see no joy in the world; who do not see the value in ourselves – the value that…

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Depression, celebration and hairloss

Posted on June 28, 2013 by Sarah

I emerge from my psychologists’ office feeling really low.  I wonder if these sessions are helping at all.  I wonder if there is any point in talking to an absolute stranger about my life and the issues within it that constantly dog it. Rewrite your script. The words from Stephen Covey’s book “Seven habits of…

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Shopping and the Status Quo

Posted on September 8, 2012 by Sarah

“Can you hear the dogs?” I open my eyes from a deep sleep.  “I didn’t hear them.” Dee gets out of bed.  I hear him yell at the dogs to go back to sleep.  I wonder why I haven’t heard them.  Am I going deaf?  I really need to phone that specialist. Dee climbs back…

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About Me

I am Sarah –  human & wearer of many labels:  Autistic with co-morbidities of ADHD, & C-PTSD.  ME/CFS sufferer too.  But I am more than those labels.  I am wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, crafter, writer, blogger, advocate, educator. Welcome to my blog.  You can read more about me here

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